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Monday, May 28, 2007

Why Opposites Attract

She likes to go out, and enjoys meeting new people all the time; he likes time for peace and quiet, just the two of them alone. She's very down-to-earth and practical. No nonsense about her! He's an absent-minded professor type. He may be very intelligent, but he sometimes wears one black sock with a blue one. She likes action movies while he secretly(he is a man, after all) prefers weepy chick flicks.

How did these two ever end up together?

It's that yin and yang thing. Couples who are very different in personality find one another endlessly interesting--and maddening, sometimes. Try as you might, you just can't get how your significant other thinks! And still, this is the guy who flips your switch. The one who you just can't stop thinking about. The person you feel most at home with.

You send each other over the edge. Opposites do attract…and the part that you liked about your lover, initially, can be the thing that makes you nuts. Still, being very different is not a bad thing for couples.

The person who is so fascinating to you may be--probably will be--the one who frustrates you the most. How does he even see things the way he does? Looking at the world from a different perspective can feel like wearing someone else's clothes. It just doesn't feel normal, but seeing from a different perspective just might allow you to get outside your own head and broaden your view of life. It's actually a good thing.

Opposites attract because they complement. The one who knows how to play may need someone who knows how to pay the bills on time. This is not to say you need to marry someone to keep you in line, but complementing personalities offer one another balancing strengths. Playing is just as important as on-time bill paying. Living a really successful life requires both and you both have many things to offer one another.

Where you can run into trouble is getting into a relationship with someone who has very different values, however. Values have a lot to do with the kind of life you want to live and this is very important to the success of a relationship. If you are a teetotaler, you probably aren't going to be happy with a mate who spends all her social time bar hopping. If you don't see yourself as a soccer dad, don't marry a woman who wants spend the weekend in her SUV carting a half dozen kids to their games.

Shoot for opposite personalities who see different perspectives, but similar values. This combination allows you to see better and bigger ways to deal with life. Having a relationship with an objective, rational type person is generally good for the warm, fuzzy type. You may struggle to understand each other, but you can each learn valuable ways to balance yourselves. Balance is tremendously important and can help you live a better life.

Having a mate who's opposite can help you become the best you.