HOLIDAYS AND FAMILIES

The holiday season can be joyous and filled with fun.

It's supposed to be a big family time of the year, whether you go to church together or focus more on the secular side of things. Some families, however, have difficult times. Alcohol and togetherness can bring out unresolved issues and make getting together a very stressful experience.

Even when there are no chemical dependency issues and you all get along together, families can find gift-giving challenging when money and expectations collide. Many are now trying to get out of crushing debt, while others deal with fatigue over money issues by spending more freely. What if these two attitudes are in the same family and one gives socks and pajamas while the other side hands out Ipods? This is even more of a challenge if unemployment enters the picture or if one sibling feels parents favor another child.

However you look at it, a supposedly joyful time can be fraught with stress.

There are some who find that family isn't necessarily and safe or happy place to be. These individuals are often left trying to find a way to spend December 25th and struggling to fit into what seems like a world obsessed with the holidays.

It's not all snow and mistletoe for everyone.

Particularly for those with fractured families. Some people have already come to terms with their toxic experience with relatives, but others struggle forward, not wanting to accept that things may not be all rosey when they sit down around the turkey(or Tofurkey). Many people spend time and too much money with relatives, trying to feel normal--which is to say happy--when they feel anything but.

For some individuals, they just feel they need a place to go...and you're supposed to spend the holidays with your family, right?

Like all of human experience, families aren't perfect. We need to strive to fix ourselves and our relationships, but relationships are made up of more than one person...and not all are motivated to address problems.

If your family experience is anything but enjoyable, you can spend the holiday time donating your resources to help the less fortunate. Or you can create your own family, spending time with the people who do contribute to your life. Friends often feel like family.

Perhaps we need to broaden our definitions of what the holidays are about. Not just gift-giving(or getting), but a time to play, to minister to others and to recharge our batteries. However you do that.