KIDS: MISBEHAVIOR & FEAR

Your child's words of anger may upset you, but it's important to realize that they're pipsqueaks. You're the big dog, even though you may not feel like it and you may not know what to do to get them to behave or to eat sensibly.

As crazy as it sounds to frustrated, well-meaning parents, children are very aware of being smaller and weaker than adults. Even teens--the terror of the parenting world--are fearful of what lies ahead. They don't feel capable of handling the world and they need you as much as they hate needing you.

You need to be the rock.

I know you don't always feel like a rock and you're very aware of your own shortcomings and your many parenting mistakes. Your children, however, know they need you. They also love you and get scared when you're angry or upset. You see the mad (and, really, wouldn't you rather they be pains with you than with others who don't love them?) You get the dirty rooms and the teacher conferences that make you feel inadequate. You struggle to pay the bills and you're often the one dealing with ex-spouses over child support and visitation.

Being a parent isn't a picnic, but being a kid is hard, too.

Often when children misbehave and act like total jerks, they're scared. They need to know you're there and you'll protect them. They need you to discipline them so they learn consequences. You've taken on the job of parenting--one of the hardest on this earth--and you're all the lies between your kids and a scary world. It's more than keeping them safe from strangers. You also have the job of keeping them safe from your friends and relatives! They rely on your watchful eye and they rarely thank you for it.

You screw up; we all do. You make lousy relationship choices. You may have struggled with appropriate alcohol use and you may also be putting yourself through college.

They may rarely tell you how much they rely on you, but that doesn't mean they don't appreciate it.

Even though they get mad.... Even though they're jerks sometimes.