TAKING THE CHALLENGE

Going for the job you want, but are afraid you won’t get. Sticking by your word and following-through on difficult, but educational consequences for your kid. Actually asking for—and listening to—your mate’s feedback on what you do that makes him/her crazy. Standing up for what you believe, even when it’s unpopular and may lose you some friends.

Doing the hard thing.

This is what really takes guts, what earns you hero status, although you might not get the cheers you deserve. There are situations and choices you face everyday that are difficult and complicated and could bring you rough stuff. These are the things you really feel you need to do, but you’re afraid to do or you’d just rather not.

For some people, the hardest thing is to leave a comfortable, but unhappy relationship. For others, the truly hardest thing is to stay in a relationship and try with all their energy to learn what needs to be learned.

Taking this most difficult challenge means listening to the stuff that makes you cringe, things about yourself that you’d rather not acknowledge. It can be brutal, but this is how we learn—by facing what needs to be faced.

Only you can decide which challenges when met will help you be a better person. Don’t let anyone else tell you what you should do. Instead, look at what’s tripped you up in your life and turn your energy on fixing this. Whether you’ve depended on a substance to change your distressed feelings or walked away from relationships where you were cared about, but challenged more than you liked—you have choices to make.

More than extreme sports or bungee jumping or climbing to the top of the Himalayas, dealing with your own personal challenges takes major courage. These are the decisions that will bring you the greatest rewards and make you the best person you can be.

Don’t join the military or ride a crotch rocket a 100 mph through rush hour traffic or pour yourself into making a million dollars in hopes that you’ll feel fearless. These won’t make you a better person. Even the best person feels fear. This is normal. It is the small moments—the hard choices—that make you better. Facing your own fears and demons usually involves a smaller scale than the big, splashed-all-over-the-media choices (and doesn’t risk collateral damage to others).

Owning up to your responsibilities. Paying your debts. Choosing to benefit someone else and, in doing so, benefit yourself. These are hard, best, most rewarding choices. Even if the good consequences aren’t immediate or aren't visible to others and you don’t get on the evening news, you will still have invested in yourself.