VALENTINE RULES FOR ESTABLISHED COUPLES

Valentine's Day is one of the most celebrated/hated days of the year. With the focus on showing your love, things often get twisted, so adhere to these rules for couples who've been to a few rodeos:

Don't Do Unto Others.....

Following the golden rule is a pretty good way to live, except not everyone wants you to be done unto in the same way. This is especially true when in comes to expressions of love and that makes sense because the same things don't always trigger people to feel loved. Some folks would get upset if they didn't get a bouquet of red roses sent to their workplace every Valentine's Day. This just says love to them. Others couldn't care less about cut flowers and still other individuals prefer an expression of love tailored just to them to a standard card-and-going-out-to-dinner. Some people want their lovers to know them well enough to recognize that they'd prefer a rock-climbing vacation to a stay at a bed-and-breakfast.

Do you know what conveys love to your special person? Or what triggers you to feel loved? Think hard about this. Different people have different answers. If you're a sexy undies person, your partner should know this.

The 1st to Mention Valentines....

If the two of you are a collaborative couple, then make sure you recognize that the first person to open the topic of how you're going to celebrate Valentines doesn't go first in making suggestions on this. If they bring it up, you need to be the first to respond with ideas. It's just part of being a team.

Don't Use Stress as an Excuse

Connecting to a loved one actually reduces stress. Yes, you're busy people with demanding jobs and possibly raising a family of demanding children. This doesn't mean having a moment to share together with your significant other is unimportant. You need your partner's love even more when faced with challenging situations...and which of us aren't?

I'm With You, Isn't That Enough?

No, it's not. Some individuals don't enjoy or need celebrations of love--not wedding/dating anniversaries or Valentine's. I get that. Not everyone is the same, but that doesn't excuse you from responding to what your partner needs. Almost invariably, a non-Valentines/non-wedding anniversary person ends up with a partner who loves these moments. Get with the program and show love to your special person the way that person receives love.

If that's sex while wearing a red thong or a flight in a hot air balloon or a night alone watching movies on the couch with the kids at a sitter, so be it. This is a day to express your love. Do it so your special person feels loved.

And you deserve the same from them.