DRIVE OR DRIFT?

You're a grown up now. You don't have summers off to swim and play and now you have to find your own path. So do you drift or drive?
When college graduates get a degree and move out into the world, they often have big debt, but no real direction. This is difficult, considering the job market, and even more sad when individuals have chosen college majors poorly. The issue of what career path to take is a very personal matter and it's often complicated by our lack of knowing ourselves.

We don't really know what's most validating for us.

Some have grown up in the current bubble of childhood where parents work hard at getting you to play dates and sports activities. You may or may not have learned the value of work. Lots of people hate having to clock in and put their noses to the grindstone. Some just don't know which grindstone is best for them. This confusion and reluctance can lead to a bad case of personal drift.

Early work has been frowned upon and legislated against since children were forced to work the fields at young ages. This was a legitimate concern. Good childhood development requires unstructured time to play. (Actually play time is important to adults, too. Sadly, adult play not usually refers to situations involving alcohol or pot, rather than actual play.) But just as important as play is the opportunity to work as a teen.

In the best of worlds, teens get to try on various jobs to see which they hate and which they like. They need to find their own directions and this kind of "job trial" helps. Hanging out in a video arcade just won't provide these benefits.

Years ago, when my own daughters were teens, summers were long and they were looking for a way to earn some pocket change. This was the scenario that led to my younger daughter doing a few plumbing jobs with her father. Lots of moms and dads have jobs that don't allow them to bring their kids along, but Roger's did.

When this daughter came home after a day spent crawling through the mud under an old house, she announced in a deadpan voice that now she knew she didn't want to be a plumber.

Aside from the amusing aspects of this pronouncement, it showed real learning. We need to know what we hate and what we love if we have any hope of choosing fulfilling career paths. Getting a handle on where you want to go, helps you to drive toward this goal. Not that we don't need plumbers--we all do--but we want happy plumbers. Those who like their jobs and don't mind crawling under houses, even if this isn't their favorite activity.

After a day of this kind of work, my daughter knew to stay in school. Often when people come to counseling, trying to find the right career path, we start off by listing the things they don't like. This narrows the field.

To create the life you want, you need to know what works for you. Which king of setting is most comfortable and fulfilling. All jobs have irritating moments. Which irritations are you willing to put up with because of other things you get out of your work.

Do you want to drive or drift? Work that fits really well may just come to you. You may drift into a perfect spot. Some people do. But for the rest of us, learning how to drive toward goals is important.

So, find what works for you, even if you have to put up with a heck of a lot of school to get there.