PARENTING: DON'T FREAK OUT

It's easy to recommend not freaking out over everything when you don't have a child. I have two, so I'm safe in saying this, but don't assume I'm saying I've done everything right. So, not the case. Even if the kid is massively annoying (and they all are, at times), parenting carries with it a huge responsibility. Just look around you and you'll find lots of examples of parenting gone really wrong.

While individuals make choices that direct their lives, no one would deny that parents have a huge impact on kids' lives.

Our local media has recently featured stories of a 16 year old, arrested for a drunk driving incident in which four people were killed. This kid's trial has centered on the fact that he was raised in a state of "affluenza" by parents who gave him everything, but consequences. His actions caused the death of four people, but his choices are being attributed somewhat to his parent's lax attitudes. I was filmed by our local DFW Fox4 Channel, contributing to a story on this.

The thing is that parenting is an evolving job that has massively huge impact on children. Kids can overcome--just ask Michael Oher, the NFL football player raised in poverty and neglect that led his drug-addicted mother to lose him to the foster system. Some kids overcome and cope with tremendously challenging factors, but some kids don't.

The only thing worse than neglect and too little is too much. Most parents don't want to be hurdles to their children. They want their kids to prosper and make the world a better place.

From the time a small squalling bundle is place into your arms, you can be gripped with this job. You will need to teach her everything. You will keep her safe from both herself and dangerous predators. Just make sure you don't get so caught up in the protection aspects of parenting that you forget the letting-go aspects of the job. This requires exhausting oversight in the beginning shifting gradually to letting her make the tough choices herself without you directing her.

In the evolution of this task, you must first do everything for your child, then you must gradually do less and less. Your children have to learn to fly on their own--this is how they learn to believe in themselves.

As a parent, an important part of your job is learning when to freak out.

A child of mine actually begin speaking when she was six month old (no lie). When this child couldn't read at eight years of age, I freaked out. Galvanized into action, I finally found someone who could help. She reads beautifully now, but I also freaked out when she was younger and wouldn't take naps. Her dad and I actually subjected the kid to a sleep study before the age of one. (I'm not proud of that.) 

I've never met a perfect parent. Ever.

The challenge in this huge job--one of the largest you will ever undertake--is to learn to the best of you abilities when to take your hands off the wheel. When to trust them and when to intervene. You don't need to freak out when they say a "bad" word, but you should probably seek help if they hurt animals or anyone younger than themselves.

And you should give yourself a break because there is no manual for this job.