THE WRONGNESS OF BEING RIGHT

Let's all admit it--we love being right. It just feels good. But this is one feel-good situation that can have ugly side effects. There naturally are conflicts in relationships, disagreements that can be trivial or bitter or both.

You have different view points, different religions, different opinions of Obama. Whatever. You need to realize, though, that hammering the other person with your take on things leaves her feeling, well, hammered. As in beaten down. While saying "I told you so" when her candidate or her boyfriend(who you never liked) falters, can feel great, it doesn't warm her up to you.

Look at it this way--if you're always right, that means she's always wrong. Why would she like you? Why would she want to be around you?

It can be challenging when those close to you are making choices you believe are unhealthy, whether this means eating badly and never exercising or marrying the wrong guy. The urge to straighten out the other person can be almost overwhelming. After all, doesn't friendship/blood relationship/motherhood give you the right to tell them like it is(according to you)?

Not without consequences.

If you insist that you're always right, others will soon find you toxic. You may attract a kind of individual who initially likes you ploughing ahead and taking charge, but this uneven relationship is doomed to fail. There's nothing healthy in always being the powerful, bossy person. It's exhilarating at first, but carrying others soon gets to be burdensome.

Remember that we all have mistaken moments--times when we goof up. It's in the nature of being human that we fail. We learn through failing, but if you're heavily invested in taking charge of all situations and all relationships, you can't allow this. You can't tolerate screwing up and you certainly can't learn from it.

It's unavoidable that you'll be wrong sometimes. You're probably acutely aware of those moments and may do whatever you can to hide your own flaws. Instead, you need to embrace them. Accept that you mess up and acknowledge this to the ones closest to you. Acknowledge when you make mistakes with them. Invite their feedback and suggestions. Believe it or not, this makes you more personally powerful.

Work hard on listening to others. They'll give you ideas about where you can best focus your energy and they'll think the better of you for not always needing them to be wrong.