Go Ahead, Screw Up

Life is more interesting if you make some mistakes occasionally. Perfection is not a possibility. If you’re out in the world, you’re going to goof up. Advice on making the “right” choice is all around you—from your friends, your partner, your mother. You can find lots of advice on how to style your hair to fit your face and be in fashion, and how to dress right at the office and still be hip. You can find lots of do’s and don’ts in the office, at a barbeque with friends and on how to handle your Valentine’s gifts.

This doesn’t mean you’re supposed to be perfect. Messing up is a reality.

For most people, new endeavors involve shaky beginnings. Like when you first learned to walk or first rode a bike, new adventures are necessarily ungraceful. You might get your hair messed up. You’ll probably fall down. That’s not the point. Getting in the action is more important than always looking good.

Relationships are one of the most complicated things we humans attempt and bad decisions don’t come labeled that way. You may look back and blame yourself for certain actions. Taking responsibility is a good thing, but beating yourself up for your mistakes is a waste of energy. No one—let me stress—no one avoids relationship errors. Having regrets and thoughts on what you’d do differently is an indication of intelligence and of taking responsibility for your own actions.

Whether we’re talking mating or careers, being too conservative can be bad. Choosing to major in accounting(because you’ll always be able to find a job), may not be right for creative or very extroverted people who don’t get a thrill out of balancing numbers. Even if you can do a thing, it doesn’t mean you should.

No matter what life decisions you’re grappling with, don’t expect to be right all the time. If never screwing up is your biggest goal, you’ll live a very narrow life. You’ve got to take the risk of being wrong to find the life that fits you best.

Looking perfect and always saying the right thing isn’t an achievable goal. No matter how hard you try to do and say the right things, you sometimes get it wrong. But being wrong isn’t the death-sentence some people think. Even the smartest people are sometimes clueless. Don’t live so carefully that your biggest goal is to never be wrong. It may feel good for a while, but soon you’ll get bored. Safety is over-rated.

Like turning a car’s steering wheel, life goes better if you’re in action. New activities usually involve some wobbly times. Don’t wait until you think you have it all together and know just what to do. Jump in and get wet. Making mistakes doesn’t feel good, but there’s a point to tolerating this aspect of the learning curve. You have to screw up. It’s required in order to engage with life and move forward.